Crashing

Look at these two orphans. Lost their parents in the May floods. So sad. Oh yeah, here we go. I'm crashing. Knew this would happen. After two hurricanes, hurrying to finish revisions, rushing off to Haiti, seeing everything, I'm crashing into depression. Inevitable. It's like a car racing racing racing and suddenly, stopping. Everything grinds to a halt. And I'm left with images haunting me. Faces I left behind. Tears I didn't shed. I sit there in dull numbness, wondering if anything I did, anything I will write, will do any good. I know I must put up a shield, a protective covering, like an emotional flak jacket. But still the bullets pierce me, the faces, the memories.

Tomorrow we're going to the Keys for the day for a little r&r. Told Frank I am in sore need of r&r. Today I want to work on my silly erotica. Something to take my mind off everything. Something different to push back the edges of depression, the faces that keep tugging at my memory.